Gimmesanity

Yesterday, I loaded the girls into the car and took a drive to my mom’s house. As I was pulling out of my parking spot, it finally dawned on me that OMFG, I HAVE TWO KIDS NOW! Delayed reaction? Possibly. We’ve been taking it slow, though. I took both of them to the park. Monkey lounged in her stroller while Bean traveled in the Bjorn. Once we got to the park, I was able to peel the sweaty little Bean off myself and plop her into the stroller while Monkey ran amok. I’m thinking just a few more outings and we’ll have this two-kid thing figured out. (Ha! I just read that and realized how totally delusional I sound.)

There’s been a little bit of crafting going on around here. This past week was brutally humid. Like, entirely too humid to even think about touching wool. So, my woodland shawl has been sitting there pretty much untouched this week. I’d post a picture, but it just looks like a green blob right now. Lace in the WIP stage is anything but photogenic. Instead, I’ve been sitting on the sofa and embroidering. It requires no wool, and the little baby cotton tees are perfect for soaking up the sweat from my ice cold beer.

Monkey wanted to know how Bean could eat carrots without teeth.

Deliriously happy apple.

Monkey was away all last week with her Daddy soaking up sun in California. She came back to a bed full of gifts from some very fabulous friends. Elinor made her this beautiful dress. Thanks! As you can see, you made Monkey very happy. She loves it. The little diva spent the afternoon twirling around, because “that’s how princesses do it.”

I’ve caught the embroidery bug…sorta. I picked up some patterns at Brooklyn General a few weeks ago. It only took me four tries to finally catch that store when it was open. I was starting to think that the store had something against me.

Anyways, I slapped this bad boy on a onesie for the bebe. A plays guitar in a band, and he has one that looks just like this - colors and all. It’s the baby’s first groupie t-shirt!

I need to figure out a way to put the band’s logo on a shirt.

A question for all of you embroiderers out there: how the hell do I wash this? Will throwing it in a lingerie bag be good enough? I don’t want to mess up the stitches, but I’m also not about to hand-wash a onesie every time its worn.

I also made A this felt tag for his steel lap guitar case. It took a whopping hour to make…man, I wish I could knit that fast. This was easy-peasy, and now A is no longer in danger of having his steel lap guitar mistaken for someone else’s. heh.

My stitches still need some work, but I figure little projects like these will help work out that embroidery muscle.

Oh, and one more thing:

A’s band leaves tomorrow to tour the UK for a week. A decided that it would be good idea to look more rock’n'roll, so he showed up at my house with his face pubes looking like this. I can neither confirm nor deny whether I approve of this particular look:

rock’n'roll, or lucha libre? You decide.

**Um, if you happen to be dating one of my brothers (and you know who you are) quit reading or you’ll ruin your Christmas present.**

…I’m serious. STOP READING.

OK..now that that’s out of the way, how about an FO?

Here’s a fabulously blurry shot of my happy hat. Apparently, my camera decided that the very expensive luxury gas-guzzling SUV behind me was more important than my hat.

Pattern: Foliage
Yarn: Malabrigo worsted in 604 - Golden Ochre (AKA Deliciously Orange)
Needles: US 6 Britney Bamboo and US 4 KP Options

This hat makes me all warm and fuzzy inside…and it makes my head sweat like a hoochie in church. I lurve it. I probably could’ve gone down another needle size, though. It’s a little big on my dome, but only a wee bit. I have a peanut head, but I also have a ‘fro, so it evens things out.

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For the holidays this year, I decided to do myself a favor and not break the bank. Seriously, we buy each other way too much crap this time of the year. So, in the spirit of being cheap thoughtful and fighting the whole let’s-put-ourselves-in-debt-for-Christmas theme, I decided to make some gifts.

Behold, rice heat therapy bags inspired by sewmamasew.

I took her pattern and modified it a bit. First, I made the bags a little narrower and longer…don’t ask me what size they are, cuz I basically winged it and made a bunch assembly-line style. What is this measuring that you speak of?

I quilted the tops to make them more insulated and to hide my half-assed quilting job. Seam allowances? Hmm, interesting concept….

The tops are made of linen with scraps of fat quarters, both of which I picked up at Purl a few weeks ago. That was my only expense…oh, and a 20-lb bag of rice that I had to haul home from the supermarket, slung on my hip as if it was a baby. A very rectangular, awkward, starchy baby. Wait, and the few bucks I spent for the essential oil - cloves and cinnamon. So spicy and warm. It just smells like it’s healing you, you know?

I had everything else in my fabric stash - the muslin for the rice bags, the batting and cotton backing for the quilting, the velcro, and the thread. Easy peasy, macaroni cheesy. I tied a piece of some pretty leftover yarn around each of them and paired them with a little manicure or pedicure set.

And that was how I survived Christmas without having to step into a mall or drive myself crazy. Two evenings, a little music, and a whole lotta wayward grains of rice on my dining table. I’m pretty damn happy with it. I may even make myself one. But, seriously, I think you get to a certain age where you just have enough stuff, and, really, it just becomes about spending time with your family. Happily, I’m getting to that stage. Lookit me being all Zen and shit.

Hope your holidays were full of warm thoughts and happy times. Thank you all for your holiday wishes!

Sometimes my domesticity amazes me. It was only a few years ago that I was out partying my ass off, drinking and dancing and waking up all hungover. Eating ramen noodles on a regular basis, throwing in an egg when I was feeling fancy. Now, here I am, wearing a damn apron and posing with this stupid bowl in my thermal pjs. (People, it’s AUGUST and I’m in a thermal shirt. What the hell happened to Global Warming?)

I bought a set of dishtowels that were wrapped in a piece of thick cotton ribbon stuff. Because I’m so cheap thrifty, I decided to fold the ribbon in half and sewed it onto the long end of one the dishtowels. Ta-da! Apron in under 10 minutes.

Donning my new apron, I channeled the spirit of the great Martha Stewart and made lunch.

More yumminess thanks to the farmers market.

Grilled chicken boob topped with homemade pesto, sauteed pattypan squash with shallots, and tomato, basil, and mozzarella salad with balsamic vinaigrette. Yum.

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions on how to expand mine arse. I’ve been eating and eating. Unfortch, one of the side-effects of living sans gallbladder is that high-fat foods and me are no longer BFFs. Dairy and I haven’t really been on speaking terms for quite some time, either. I’m kinda screwed. I’ve been going for quantity and sneaking in an extra meal and snack throughout the day. I’ve been adding more protein and trying to add empty calories via juices and…um, beer. hehe.

I know this probably sounds like, “Oh, boo-hoo, shut the hell up, Sharon”, but I want my clothes to fit again. Nothing really fits me right now - my jeans all hang off me, and I have like two bras that actually hold the girls up (umm, that was probably tmi, whatever.) I don’t want to go shopping for all new clothes, dammit.

Anyways, onward to what my fabulous swappy-pal, Shannon sent me for the International Notions Swap. The swap was set up by Patty. Thanks, Patty for a fun swap! I got this in the mail the other day:

Shannon is from Maryland. I was living in MD before I came back to the big N-Y. Ahh, Mary-land. She sent this beautiful bag, a Maryland magnet, and a wind-up crab for Monkey. Unfortch, the crab scares the crap out of her and she’s taken to to whacking it across the room whenever she sees it. Hehe. Thanks, anyways.

The sheep go marching one by one, hoo-rah, hoo-rah…

She also added these hilarious little stitch markers. They’re sheep! Too damn cute. Thanks so much, Shannon!!